Jiu-jitsu Thoughts – It’s all about Passion

This was the first draft of this post:

I’ve been out of touch for a while, not blogging, been training though but haven’t been feeling it.

I haven’t been pushing myself harder than I should. I have a fear of re-injury especially with the Kyushu Championship tournament coming up so I don’t know where my limits are.

My mindset – well, lets face it – is nowhere near competition level confidence. More of a “lets wait and see” train of thought. And I know that kind of thinking will be the wrong kind of thinking when I step on the tournament mat.

My game reflects my rut. I’m passive. More cautious. I capitalize on my opponent’s mistakes which is me being reactive instead of being proactive. Lots of closed guard. I’m playing it safe.

My timing is still there. However, I don’t rush into passes, they’re more controlled but easily defended. I can pick up the pace and see the pre-injury me from time to time, but I opt to take it easy now whereas before I’d ridiculously assert myself.

I’m thinking about stopping jiu-jitsu for a long time after the tournament.

And that’s when I went “hold on a minute.”

So I did. I took a minute or more to figure out what the heck was going on with me. This is something I should enjoy doing.  I looked forward to this, waiting two long dreadful months for. And now because the expectations I set before me were not being met, I get emo, avoid writing about it and put in half ass training sessions?  Something was definitely wrong.

Then I realized why. I didn’t have it.

Somehow, in mix of things – injury, poor performance, a looming tournament – I lost track of what made jiu-jitsu so valuable to me in the first place.

PASSION.

Why do I train jiu-jitsu in the first place? It will not turn me into a street smart, ninja killer even though I secretly wish it will. It is not about the black belt or the next promotion for me even though I look forward to those things. That’s not what’s important.

What is important is that I find jiu-jitsu calming and challenging and, above all, because it is FUN. Period. Nothing else.

Obviously I exercise more, watch what I eat, pay more attention to my fitness level because of jiu-jitsu. The friendships I have made and will continue to make because of jiu-jitsu are priceless to me. The people I never met in person yet read about and follow them along on their own personal journeys, it’s utterly amazing that I know about them at all – they are thousands of miles, thousands of kilometers away, live in different countries – and yet I do know about them. All because of our shared interest, our shared passion in jiu-jitsu.

It’s all about passion.  Let that slip and life gets harder, more than it should be.

Sorry, it took awhile, but I’m back. 😉

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